Confirmation just seemed the next step to say yes to Jesus and wanting to spend my life following him. I thought about being confirmed in my teenage years but had no real desire to do it, other than it would please my mum.
Being confirmed now was the right time for me. To affirm for myself my faith and grow myself spiritually.
I attended confirmation classes and found the mix of people and their views fascinating. It was a safe place to express my thoughts and feelings and I soon realised there where no right or wrong answers.
The day before I was confirmed, a friend said to me don’t be surprised or disappointed if you don’t feel anything. It had not occurred to me that I would feel a thing. I was just going into this open hearted and open minded.
The service was lovely relaxed and beautiful. When the bishop laid her hands on me and said her words I did feel something.
The words she spoke where slow and muffed and almost like they were coming from inside me. It felt like at that moment there was only me in the church .
I felt something that was strong and powerful and stronger. More direct than the feeling I felt in the garden some 18 months before.
Seconds seemed like minutes and when I had to get up my legs would hardly work. The hymn that we next sung gave me time compose myself and my jelly like legs return to normal.
This does all sound amazing, but it was a very strange feeling. Sometimes I am unsure how to process these feelings and what they mean.
I am often left feeling confused and wonder what God is asking from me and how to I do it .
The most important thing for me is to still be me but just a better me.