Living With The Black Dog – Despair.

The list of positives from dog ownership far outweigh the negative companionship, love, relaxation the list just goes on but most will agree dog ownership enhances your life.
The black dog that has attached its self to my husband is the opposite it’s unpredictable, controlling, self-centered, and needs constant supervision.
This dog seems very loyal to my husband it’s never far away from him and often shows up when you least want him. He does not think twice about humiliating me in front of friends and family.
It controls my husband’s thoughts and feelings and comes between us.If you leave him at home he becomes anxious and panics so I need to plan my going out.
At times the dog gets very scared and has horrid negative thoughts that keep my husband awake at night, life with the dog is at times terrifying dark and painful.
God is with both of us and how ever dark our world is God is still their. I can feel this and work at keeping my heart and mind open to God but at times the black dog gets in the way of everything, blocks our positive thoughts controlling both of us.
I need to see the good the positive and Beauty every day. The Black dog has no idea of what’s good and tries’s to destroy all it touches. It will not give a second thought to biting the hand that loves and cares for it.
With medication we are starting to control the dog. We get times when the dog is calm and controlled and I get my husband back. The kind, funny, loving, clever man that I married. I wish we could leave the Black dog at him home every day. That’s just not possible we have to learn to live with the dog and control it.
I pray every day that with professional help, love and medication we will be able to live along side the Black dog. Leave it at home alone and spend more and more time without it but always understanding that he will always be with us in one way or another but under our control.

Dear God
As I open myself to you in prayer and listen to your wisdom my heart is hurting to witness such depression in my loving husband.
I pray that he can feel your love and in time you will return to me the man I married.
I made a promise to him in your presence, I promise I will never break.
I pray for the strength to support him and the professional’s and medication to allow him to see a future worth living for.
I pray for the many thousands of people in this world with depression that they will see your light and your love.

Amen

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