I can’t change the past and in many ways I don’t want to as the pain has changed me and only pain would and could have done that.
But I do need to move on, it’s not a easy process letting go to break the cycle of anger and frustration , needing to be free of the pain the resentment and bitterness that eats away inside me, I have become a slave to my emotions and sticking to my principles was to a high a price to pay , I can’t afford anymore more pain , it’s all to hurtful and the pain has grown into a monster of it’s own bigger and greater than love.
I wanted my see and face the people that caused the pain, I wanted to tell them how much it hurt.
I wrote a letter instead , a letter does not show my tears, does not let them see my pain.
It’s not for me to cause more suffering and upset ,that’s not who I am and not someone I want to become .
Trusting in our loving god and praying will help me to move on draw a line under what has happened in the past and strive forward to the future .
I can’t forget what happened but I can learn to forgive , Move from bitterness into love ,allow peace to heal my wounded heart and break this cycle ,leaning to forgive is a long process no quick fix , but posting that letter was one massive step forward , I felt gods presence as a signed the letter my eyes quickly filled with tears of relief knowing god is with me and the journey of healing and forgiveness can move forward.
1 Peter 1:6 Good News Translation (GNT)
Be glad about this, even though it may now be necessary for you to be sad for a while because of the many kinds of trials you suffer.