Sharing.

My life is reflected in my garden. Everything that’s in my life is in my garden. I will try and explain this in another blog it’s deeply complicated and hard to put into words.
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This weekend I shared my garden with the public. Opening my garden gate to strangers to wonder round and take from it what they will.
The whole experience was emotionally exhausting. I deeply feel it’s selfish to keep what you have to yourself. Opening my garden is a way to share what’s inside of me.
Until recently I had no other way to express this other than through my garden. No other way to tell and share with others what I find so wonderful.
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Inspiring words from the weekend.

Beautiful
Calm
Vintage
Wilderness
Peaceful tranquil
Old fashioned
Friendly
Homely
Exciting
Natural
Full of charter
Cheerful
Nature at its best
Happy
Relaxing.

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Spending the weekend sharing my garden was such a positive experience . But my thoughts and prayers today were for those affected by last nights attacks in London.

Visitors took time to light candles and share their thoughts and prayers.

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See how nature – trees, flowers, grass – grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence . . . We need silence to be able to touch souls. ~Mother Teresa

Scared to be still.

Day Thirty Three – Still – Lent challenge.
When I read my old blogs it’s amazing how far I have come, there are good days and bad days but life is so much better, but I can’t relax, forgotten how to.
I am scared to be still, scared to stop for too long, Burning the candle at both ends, late nights and early mornings is at times exhausting.
The massive hole in my life needs plugging, so I fill it by keeping busy filling the hole seems the only way to cope but only prolongs and hides the grief.
Times of stillness are rare and it’s often only when I pray do I dare to allow myself to stop, but it’s safe in prayer, I feel held in Gods love,  it’s a time to reflect, recharge and take my strength from God.
As soon as I open my eyes say Amen my brain is off planning thinking and busy busy busy.
The grief of the past years all seem to have all been rolled into one big hole and I need to find ways to deal with this grief and than I  feel that I might be able to stop and relax.
This weekend I will be attending a remembrance service at Exeter Cathedral for those who have lost a child at any stage of pregnancy. I will for the first time be in a space to pray for them and hold them in my heart acknowledge each one as the child I carried and loved.
Lighting 5 little candles will be very special and important part of grieving and moving on.

John 14 :1-6 ” What God creates God loves and what God loves God loves everlasting”

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