Inwardly Imploding.

Almost a year ago I was asked to read Psalm 23 to a handful of people .
I felt as if I was going in inwardly implode. The familiar words that have offered comfort and support, suddenly become my worse nightmare.
Their meaning was lost as I tried to read them aloud.
No one judged me as I raced and though the words. I cruelly judged myself ashamed of my fear of reading out loud.
Today I stood up at the front of the church and read my prayer from my heart.
Thank you God for pushing me to do something I always thought was impossible .

 

This advent Lord, come to the manger of my heart.
Fill us with your presence.
Because of your great love for us before the world began .
We are chosen to be adopted as your children.
We love because you loved us first.
A pure act of faith is to care for your children just you cared for us .
We thank you lord for the open hearted families that make adoption possible.
We Pray for children that are not spending Christmas with their families.
The children waiting adoption. Families waiting to adopt.
Give them strength and perseverance to guide them though the good days and bad days.
Bless them with friends and families that can support and understand their needs.
Pray for the birth families of these children; that they are supported. shown love and compassion.
Adotion is never easy its a pure act faith .
Each unique beautiful child is a gift from God.
Help us to hold onto what is good and true, and follow what leads us into life .
Help us to let go of what holds us back .
Forgive us when we choose the wrong way.
Forgive us when we hold onto what we ought to let go .
Thank you for Jesus,
Who speaks his gracious word to each of us, saying; Your sins are forgiven.
Amen

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A gift they are to afraid to unwrap.

Christmas  what does it mean to me?
Love is the first thing that comes to mind , God loves us so much he sent his son to save the word through him.
The rush to buy gifts food and make arrangements for the big day are on a massive commercial money making scale.
It’s ugly and sad, It’s not what Christmas is about and never will be.
The greatest gift we can give to one another is love .
Love is not like other gifts we give, it’s special  priceless and beautiful.
Often when you give love you get no response from from person receiving it, not a hug and thank you or even a smile .
I have given my love openly and freely to the fostered children that have been a part of our family , and it’s a gift that just keeps giving it’s so very very precious from the moment I  hold the children in my arms  to the time I  let them go it’s love that counts .
I pray that I planted enough love in their hearts that when or if they want to find gods love they will recognise it  as love and be able to start their own journey of faith.
Giving a gift that does not want to be given is not easy .
A gift  that gets pushed back and rejected  , a gift they are to afraid to unwrap as they are scared of what they might feel when they open it.
It’s a gift they have been given many times before only to have it taken away again and again .
Refusing the gift is the way they cope. But that’s not a reason not to give it.

Loving  damaged children hurts but all children need love , when I gave my love to these wonderful special children  my  faith grew and I was never alone as I had gods love every step of my journey and their is no greater love than the love of god.

So this Christmas please  pray for those adults and children that are not loved and are to scared to love, and fear love so much  they reject it and hurt and push those away that reach out to help them.

Loving god
Every child needs to be loved
Every child needs and a  future .
Help those that find love so scary they push it away
Allow them to let your love into their hearts .
Thousands of children around the world go to bed cold  hungry and scared every night.
When they awake in the morning nothing has changed for them, please show them love and kindness offer them hope and a future full of love and hope.
Amen

Corinthians 13:13

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

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